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Horoscopes by Hawkboy 01 Add chapter to Horoscopes
Disclaimer: I do not own any anime, videogame, dubbing company, resturant chain, or anything else in this list. This list was done for the enjoyment of the reader. Any prediction that actually comes true is a complete coincidence. I am not a psychic, and these predictions are not based on anything.


Aries: March 21-April 19
After taking years to prefect your shoe lace tieing together jut-su you will encounter massive dissapointment , when you realize Ninja wear sandals

Taurus April 20-May 20
Your name will be on the minds, lips, and hit lists of otoku everywhere after you write and produce a musical Dragon Ball Z rendition of The Unibridged Dictionary

Gemini May 21-June 21
You will meet your soul mate this week at your place of employment after they crash their car into it while trying to drift.

Cancer June 22-July 22
You will finally meet your favorite voice actor this week. Though you will be saddened by the way in which the two of you part, you will hear from them again about 10 months from now concerning a paturnity test.

Leo July 23-August 22
You will discover your generious side and make a donation to local schools and daycare centers. After failing to sale the 100s of 4kidz dvds that someone gave you on ebay

Virgo August 23-September 22
Your soul will be sent to the shadow realm after loseing a dual to a three-month old.

Libra September 23-October 23
You will achieve a life long goal of having your name in the genious book of world records. This will occure after you meet a member of Brittan's MI6 (the same organization that James Bond is apart of), and become infected with 47 sexually tranmitted dieseses. Your name will gain immortality when it is discovered that 43 of said deseases were previously unknown to science. The most ever found in one person.

Scorpio October 24-November 21
You will be adventurious this week and go into a Starbucks and ask for plain black coffee.

Sagittarius November 22-December 21
Your attempt at brain washing will be deemed a success after the Nobel Prize Committee adds prizes in the catagories of anime, video games, and heavy metal.

Capricorn December 22-January 19
Be prepaired to start over this week after your Final Fantasy memory card gets erased in the laundry

Aquarius January 20-February 18
Your week will be full of discovery. Your first discover will be that crack is indeed cheaper then anime. Your second discover will be that there are 82 1/2 celing tiles in your local hosbital's intensive care unit. Your third discover will be that rehab is a long, difficult, and expensive process.

Pisces February 19-March 20
You will release the hostages this week after China succums to your demands, and makes the next calander year the first ever year of the cat.

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